Maybe...

Welp, today was a tough day. I was so hopeful that this round was “the round” 

For the first time since using an ovulation kit I got a “flashing Smiley Face”. Which means that my hormones are increasing and it’s considered an high chance to try to conceive. I have never had anything show up on the darn sticks, so to see that there was hope made Pat and I overjoyed. We thought that this would be our chance to try. Since, we have been unable to or had no reason to in the past. 

So, this morning I had an ultrasound appointment to see if my follicles were maturing. As i laid there trying to make conversation the the tech to get as much information as i could before i talk to the doctor. She started with my right ovary. I finally get her to tell me that there was one follicle worth measuring. Unfortunately, it only measured a 9, a mature follicle would need to measure anywhere from 18-24. So, that meant I'm not even close. She continued to the left side. Nothing. Not even one worth measuring. I have been here many times before and know that the follicles don't grow at a rapid rate and that they eventually they would  just shrink right on back up. Immediately I was heart broken and knew the little hope I had was shattered. 

I already knew what the nurse would say after the doctor reviewed my results. Another sonogram in 2 days, where i would be in the same boat and be asked to go back in another 2 days. Finally, after the 3 sonograms I would be told that it doesn't look like I'm going to ovulate. At this point there seems to be very little hope.

I texted Pat. Of course him being the wonderment man he is, tried to find any glimpse of hope in the situation. Maybe a miracle will happen, maybe they will magically increase in size, just maybe. I know that those maybe’s are a slim chance. So, I'm left feeling hopeless and alone. Days like this occur often, pretty much every month. This path to pregnancy is one with many lows and i feel like we are still at the beginning of it. I can only pray that just maybe.